Sunday, May 31, 2009

Congratulations on your Wedding! Thanks for ruining my weekend…

Yeah. That’s right. I took it there.

I was going to make up a similar hypothetical situation for the sake of objectivity but let us get straight to the heart of the matter. Some friends of yours--or perhaps only friends of your significant other--are getting married. Isn’t that nice? They are getting married on Sunday at two in the afternoon. The wedding is in Savannah, since Savannah is a beautiful city; not that anyone is from Savannah. Savannah is four hours away from where you are and there is a ‘party type thing’ on Friday night. You work Friday. Oh and there is a rehearsal dinner on Saturday and then the real shebang on Sunday.

Your whole weekend gone, shot, done. There is nothing I hate more than to have my weekends planned out for me ahead of time. I don’t exactly have a lot of spontaneity in my Monday-Friday 10:00-6:00 workweek so the last thing I want is to know everything that is going to happen on the weekend spelled out in explicit detail come Tuesday, or worse still two months ahead of time by way of wedding invitation.

Two more people are joining in marital bliss, eternally bound to each other by way of unexplainable happiness and legality and your weekend--the last bastion of true freedom for today’s working man--is over. You have to drive four hours back home and go to work in the morning.

How is this a polite gesture to ask people to undertake? I understand there are wedding invitations that are sent to certain people with no expectation of that person actually showing up but but what about the people that do show up? How are they reimbursed for their pain. Lost time can’t be made up for last I checked. Furthermore, it’s not only weddings; any national holidays that occur during the work week and result with me not having to go to work are even more treasured than a standard weekend. Don’t mess it up for me… Plan you bar-be-que for Saturday or Sunday. There has to be someone else out there who understands what I’m saying here.

All people that wish to be married should elope. At bare minimum put your wedding on a Monday (assuming it’s not a national holiday). Everyone hates Mondays. Monday hatred is a standby of solidarity among the common man; an instant point of bonding. Instead taking up my whole weekend why not take up three days of my work week that I won’t mind? Then I would actually enjoy the whole venture. If I have to take off Monday-Wednesday it is basically a vacation I don’t want to go one; but vacation nonetheless. This way I will enjoy myself especially if you wedding followings the rules of good form and has an open bar. The return trip home Wednesday evening will be a good one. Followed by two days of work and then a nice relaxing weekend.

I wish everyone well in there personal pursuit of happiness, but if you can; try and make sure it doesn’t intrude on mine.

And to anyone feeling self-conscious out there: I'm not talking about you.


Stephanie said...

hahaha! When I think we forced you to come all the way accross the ocean and spend a whole week of your time... I'm very very sorry. Hope you don't hold it against us :-D

Chad Hull said...

Don't be ridiculous: your wedding was a bit of a different thing entirely. It was vacation with an additional wedding. Most weddings don't come with a personal guided tour of France.